WARNING - THIS IS A RANT. IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY STRONG WORDS OR IF YOU ARE VOLVO DRIVER, PLEASE STOP READING
Old time readers know that I absolutely hate slow drivers. Furthermore, I have a very special hatred reserved for fucking Volvo drivers. They are not only slow, but they are completely unaware of what's going on in their sourroundings cousing a ton of accidents.
Slow drivers in general should be punished by castration or electrical shock when they drive below the speed limit, not just a mile or two below the limit, but 10, 20 or more below. The fuckers think they can do what they want in the street with complete disregard of anyone else around them.
This was the case earlier in the week, when I was on time to go to a meeting, driving very efficiently at the speed limit (45 miles per hour) on a single lane road. About 35-40 yards in front of me I can see a fucking volvo driver stop on the intersection of a street. He had a stop sign. He saw me coming (that's how close I was, I saw him seeing me) and decided that instead of waiting for me to pass, I was coming fast, speed limit fast, he was going to take the turn.
And he did.
I had to slam on the breaks because the fucking volvo driver took the turn at what appeared to be 5 miles an hour. If I didn't slam on the breaks I would have crashed into him. So, I honked. He, of course being a fucking volvo driver didn't care. He continued driving slowly at a very fast speed of 28 miles an hour. On a 45!!!
There was no way for me to overtake him, there was a double yellow line. Meanwhile, behind me, there are more than 10 cars. All honking and this guy, this fucking volvo driver, doesn't care. He drives his boxy motherfucking ugly car at 28 miles an hour.
Eventually I had enough and I took a turn, which caused me to add an extra 7 miles to my trip and be late by a total of 12 minutes. I am NEVER late.
So, I decided to preemtively red team this and I think I have a possible solution to the national, sorry, world-wide, problem of slow drivers. However, until I have the fine points of my plan ready, I will install a fucking LED sign on my car, big enough that will be very visible by anyone on their rearview mirror or when they are turning into the road I am travelling. The sign will display the following message:
I am driving at the speed limit, if you insist on being in front of me you better drive fast or I will hurt you
When I have my plan ready I'll post it here.
END OF RANT